You Know You’ve Been a Parent of a Child with Special Needs Too Long When (Part II)…by Lori Miller Fox

This is the second part of the earlier post to get your new school year off to a humorous start.

You choose your child’s medical specialists by whether or not their waiting room has an accessible outlet for your portable DVD player.

You get pulled over by a police officer and automatically pull out your insurance card.

You volunteer to give blood, not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s the only time you can have some peace and quiet and then enjoy an Oreo cookie alone.

You can’t even remember your own name, but can recite your child’s current medications and brief medical history in your sleep.

You call having the time to shave your legs, a makeover.

You stare into the ice cream freezer at the grocery store just a little too long, and don’t give a damn what the neighbors think.

Your accountant just assumes you’ll need an extension on your taxes.

You end up putting Pediasure in your coffee, because that’s all you’ve got.

At night you dream of going on a vacation with Oprah and Gayle.

Locking yourself in the bathroom is considered respite.

You wish you only aged in dog years.

You consider shutting off the room monitor “ a night away.”

You request frequent school meetings just so the staff won’t notice how much weight you’ve gained over time.

Your child’s case manager highlights the AM listings on the TV Guide and calls it a transition plan.

You consider your coffee maker durable medical equipment.

You use the timer on your coffee maker as a snooze alarm.

To you, drinking decaf is considered an alternative lifestyle.

You classify having your child get coughed on by another child in the doctor’s waiting room, as a playdate.

You embroider the number “666” on your child’s t-shirt just so unwelcome strangers don’t come up and “bless” your child.

Comments

[kathy Tumminaro]

Thanks for the smile and laugh. Sadly- I can relate to everything listed. HAHA!

[Sandy Alperstein]

I'm literally laughing out loud here - how do you come up with this stuff, Lori?? Love it!!

Sandy

[Daunna Minnich]

Chuckle-chuckle!

When I was a kid, we were a meat and potatoes household.  No complaint there — meat and potatoes for dinner kept us happy.  Occasionally, out of the blue, my mom would feel inspired to make a banana cake, turning an ordinary day into a red letter day: Dessert!

Lori, when your humor appears out of the blue, it's like dessert to Charlie's meat and potatoes.  Thank you both, Charlie and Lori, for the tasty food for thought that your blog puts on my table.  I sigh with satisfaction after each meal.…   And wouldn't you know it, pretty soon I find myself hungry for more!

[リーブ21 評判]

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[Erin]

Thanks for the great article and support for parents. I wanted to let you know that I have included this article in "What We Are Reading" on www.schoolpsychologistfiles.blogspot.com
Erin

[Amy Cederbaum]

Lori-
Your lists just amaze me - the ways you find to convey what wants to be understood and felt so reading them makes oneself feel understood and recognized. Your zingers hit home.
Amy

[Robin Cooke]

Thanks for part II; I'd like to read part I, but the link to earlier post would not open.  Would you please repost?

[Internship]

That was really a humorous one LORI!I would love to read other posts of yours as well.Could you please links to them.I would like to tell you that after reading the post, i actually referred it to many of my friends to read it.Keep up the good work.

[Whitney]

This paints a really bleak picture of life as a parent for a special needs child. I think we can find much more joy in it.