How to Cook a Turkey or Baste makes Waste by Lori Miller Fox

As a parent of a child with special needs, I am all too aware of differences.  Because of this, I get especially tired of being asked to keep up with other people’s expectations. Finding the time or the patience to entertain for Thanksgiving, for example is one luxury,  I can’t always afford. However, there are many who choose to spend their time in just this way -- and I applaud them for it.  So what I say, is spend the holidays, heck spend every day, in a way that is right for you and your family. If you want to entertain, do so -- your way. My way is, whether you go out, cook or carry in, always bring laughter to the table.

How an unfit school nurse cooks a turkey -- Says it doesn’t look right and sends it home.

How a closed-minded case manager cooks a turkey -- Gets everyone together in a big room, asks for everyone’s opinion, and then does whatever she want anyway.

How an uncooperative Special Education Director cooks a turkey -- Argues why you don’t need a turkey.

How a lazy teacher cooks a turkey -- Leaves it raw and hopes when she covers it with enough gravy no one will notice.

How a school bus driver cooks a turkey -- Starts late, goes too fast and then loses it in the oven.

How an unqualified school occupational therapist cooks a turkey -- Doesn’t cook the whole turkey, just looks at the wings in isolation.

How an incompetent school psychologist cooks a turkey -- Says it does not lend itself to cooking and then blames it on the bird.

How a disinterested general education cooks a turkey--She cooks a ham, she does not know how to cook a turkey and it is not her job to learn how to cook a turkey.

How an aloof Superintendent cooks a turkey -- Has it catered, because he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty.

How an inadequate school speech therapist cooks a turkey -- Doesn’t care what it tastes like as long as it’s swallowed.

How an aide cooks a turkey -- That depends on whether or not he or she was properly trained.

How an inept school PT cooks a turkey --She doesn’t, she just can’t get her mind off why it doesn’t have good head control.

How an inferior transition coordinator cooks a turkey -- Why bother, the side dishes are good enough.

How a reluctant tech team cooks a turkey -- They’re still evaluating which is the most effective way, gas or electric.

How a good teacher cooks a turkey -- Cuts it up into bite-size pieces and cooks them separately to each child’s individual taste.

How parents of special needs children cook a turkey -- Cook a turkey? Yea, like they have that kind of time! (And hats off to all of you who found the time on Thanksgiving, to do just that.)

Happy Thanksgiving to all, especially those school staff to whom the above does not apply.

Comments

[Daunna Minnich]

I really gobbled this Thanksgiving humor right up! Delicious!

[Sandy Alperstein]

Very tasteful (LOL!) humor, Lori! Thanks, as always, for a "meal" that hits the spot!

Sandy

[fake diploma]

I think we will never get rid of this sort of problems. Humans are used to look for the bad of the persons that they meet, out of the need of feeling superior. And this is it, even if some of us learned (with the only help of experience) that you have to look beyond the appearances, the majority will never change!