Sex Ed is About Safety By Amanda Windom

One of the most controversial topics we face in schools today is sex education.  Schools in Illinois vary greatly in the curriculum they offer ranging from none at all to abstinence-only to comprehensive sex education. Putting aside the moral, religious and other debates, the main issue here is safety.  Regardless of our personal feelings about the topic the fact remains that children and teens must be educated about sex in a meaningful way, and if they are not educated at school or by parents they will develop ideas based on things they learn from friends or in the media, often to their detriment.

Children and adolescents with disabilities are often left out when it comes to sex education, although they are at a higher risk for sexual abuse than their typically developing peers.  Statistics show that children with developmental disabilities are 4-10 times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse. Also rates of STDs are high among young adults with disabilities. So why aren't children who have disabilities receiving meaningful sex education?

Aside from the fact that sex education is a constant item of debate in the standard curriculum, there are many reasons.  People who are disabled are often seen as uninterested or incapable of sexual activity, or on the other hand they are seen as sexually deviant.   Regardless of common stereotypes all people need to be educated on this vital topic, that can have mortal and significant health consequences.

As the Center for Disability Information and Referral makes it clear, sex education may save a person's life.  It is critical that children and teens with disabilities learn appropriate sexual behaviors.  They must be taught when to say no and learn to advocate for themselves and report abuse.  Children and teens with disabilities have a right to be taught to protect themselves, and often times as parents that job falls on us.  There are numerous resources available in the form of books,workbooks, and videos.   The particular workbook linked above has activities, pictures, worksheets, and text for children from kindergarten to grade 12.  There are also tips for parents and caregivers on when to educate children and what type of words to use.  In addition some families may need disability specific resources available to help parents talk to children.  For example, this linked website concentrates solely on tips for talking to your child with autism .  Another site answers questions parents and caregivers may have about sexuality and Downs syndrome.  Parents of children who are deaf-blind and significantly developmentally delayed may find  information useful in the book "Introduction to Sexuality Education for Individuals who are Deaf-Blind and Significantly Developmentally Delayed". There is a wealth of information on the web regarding sex education for those with disabilities.

However, there is typically no reason why sex education shouldn't be a part of your child's IEP.  If sex ed is part of the standard curriculum then it too can be modified for those with special needs. 

If the school does not believe that it is part of its obligation under IDEA, remind them of the broad mandate that is required under the heading of a transition plan.  The end goal of the IEP process is to for individuals to have a productive and meaningful life.  Going out into the world sexually ignorant, or worse vulnerable to predation, is not consistent with the requirements of the law. 

The reality is we can't afford not to offer our children, all our children, comprehensive sex education. Resources for Parents and Educators The list of following resources are not endorsed by this site and should be previewed by parents/educators before using:

• http://www.albany.edu/aging/IDD/documents/parentworkbook.pdf.  This is an interactive workbook called "Sexuality Education for Children and Adolescents with Developmental Disabilities.
• http://www.disabilitytraining.com/ddse.html  Links to a variety of sex ed curriculums, including workbooks for below average readers.
• http://www.lifesupportproductions.co.uk/html/dvd.htm  Information about a comprehensive sex ed DVD.
• http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/educationandlearning/whatchildrenlearn/curriculumandassessment/sexandrelationshipeducation/ Links to printable books for adolescents and educators.
• http://www.tr.wou.edu/dblink/pdf/sex-ed.pdf  An extensive resource for educating children who are deaf-blind and developmentally delayed.
• http://cshcnleaders.ichp.edu/HRTW-Materials/SexualityIssues.pdf  A printable book called "Sexuality Issues for Youth with Disabilities and Chronic Health Issues."
• http://www.our-kids.org/Books/sexed.htm A listing of books on sexuality and sex education for educators, parents, and people with disabilities.

This whole subject no matter how taboo is one that is too critical to be ignored in the IEP.  It is time for schools to get over the squeamishness of this subject and deal with the central issue of safety. For some schools it might be more palatable if the goals and the curriculum are labeled under the heading of safety and the sex part just happens to be a primary topic.

Comments

[Nathan A]

If the main issue is getting safety infomation about sexual abuse to children, I'd propose dropping the sex education label. Because I don't think that there'd be as many opponents to a "predator education" program.

[Daunna Minnich]

Thanks for raising this important topic. Some people may feel squeamish about the idea of sex education, but almost all schools teach it in some form these days, and it makes perfect sense for modified (and expanded) sex ed lessons for kids whose needs cannot be met by standard courses. For kids who lack social understanding and skills, safety isn't just about being the victim of a predator but also about getting into legal trouble for behavior that might make them seem to be predators themselves, and consequently being tossed into jail, which would make them even more vulnerable. Another type of safety: Girls taking medications need to learn the importance of consulting a doctor before, or as soon as, they become pregnant in order to prevent damage to their baby.

This topic needs broader treatment than the coverage in an ordinary science or health class, and parents need to anticipate and explain those needs to IEP teams. It's not a one-time thing and needs to start as kids approach puberty and continue into adulthood.

[Liz]

Thanks for addressing this important issue. I posted an excerpt at SchwabLearning's parents' message board.

http://www.schwablearning.org/message_boards/view_messages.aspx?thread=23207

[Kara Sheridan]

I completely agree that comprehensive sexual education is a MUST for ALL children-It's so baffling to me that every single study shows us the failures of abstinence-only programs, but they continue to be the norm in many parts of the country.

While I know it's tempting to pitch the need for increased inclusion for kids with disabilities based on the increased risk of sexual abuse, I also think it sets up (or really promotes the already existent view) that sex and sexuality is pimarily negative, dangerous, and something we should avoid. I understand we are at a greater risk for abuse but focusing only on that only furthers the view that people with disabilities are victims. True comprehensive sexual education should also promote positive sexual self esteem development.

[Miller Smith]

Considering safe information, when a student (and mother) asked me (her 7th grade life science and sex education teacher) advice on having sex with her HIV positive boyfriend, I said....what?

What should I have said?

[Sue]

It's really important also for all teachers who teach kids with disabilities to be educated about the normal sexual and emotional feelings of people with disabilities, that our kids are more like "normal" kids than they are given credit for.

My then 7 year old son had a crush on his teacher. The teacher and the director of the school insisted he was displacing his feelings for me onto the teacher. Our son's paid advocate, a psychologist by training with over 17 years experience at a leading center for kids with disabilities, agreed with my husband and I that he was displaying typical, normal behavior for a child who is attracted to his teacher.

Subsequent to the poor handling of this situation on the part of the teacher and the school, my son developed a hair pulling fixation whenever this teacher wore her hair in a pony tail. Prior to this, he had never displayed such behavior so I can't help but think it's related to his feeling rebuffed and rejected.

The hair pulling has since generalized to any female professional or student in his classroom with her hair in a pony tail.

We tried talking to our son at home that it's normal and OK to have feelings about his teacher and that she liked him, too, but to understand that adults can't respond to kids in that way. We even asked the teacher to explain this to him as well but she never responded to our request so it is unlikely that she did so.

At this point, we are left with taking our son to a behavioral psych unit to work on an outpatient basis with him on extinguishing the hair pulling as it has not yielded to any intervention that the school's staff has tried.

[Bingham High Students]

Let’s talk about sex, baby…
But not in the way that you might think. Sexual education in the United States is seriously flawed. In many states, abstinence is the only option of birth control taught to high school students. We, as high school students, believe that it would benefit the high school population to learn about the alternatives to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. In today’s society teens are having sex, regardless of the way they are educated. Learning in a classroom in which the curriculum is ‘abstinence only’ does not affect the numbers of teens who make the decision to have sex.
Our view is that the curriculum needs to be expanded. Birth control pills as well as condoms need to be standardized in the public school’s Health curriculum as a means of protection. We believe that when students are at the age when sexual education is taught, they have mostly made up their mind about how sexually active they will be. Because students have already chosen, the curriculum should be based on protecting kids, not on what the school districts think is morally acceptable to the community. Protecting teens from sexually transmitted disease, and keeping them from either getting somebody pregnant, or becoming pregnant needs to be the goal of educating on this topic.

[Raw]

It amazes me the lack of sexual culture that exists in our media world. And part of the problem is the media because it portrays sexual activity in a wrong manner. Also it contributes to making sex a tabu subject. Hush hush and lots of people suffer from a chronic lack of pleasure in their sex life. I believe that sex education should be done by people that enjoy sex and took the time to explore the realm of sexuality. That's my take on the matter.