People everywhere are more similar than they are different. As long as there have been parents, they have been worried about their children with special needs. I would venture to guess that even Mother Goose has had to attend an IEP now and then. Here are just a few of the statements we would likely see from her children’s student records.
Little Jack Horner will sit in the corner until a proper behavioral intervention plan is created.
Little Miss Muffet will be included in the regular ed lunchroom instead of eating her curds and whey alone on her tuffet.
Jack Sprat will be put on a gluten-free low-fat diet.
The Three Little Kittens will become more organized and maintain the whereabouts of their mittens.
The school’s exit signs will be written in braille so the Three Blind Mice can safely get away from the Farmer’s wife.
Georgy Porgy Pudding and Pie will learn to keep his hands to himself.
The Dish will stop eloping with the Spoon.
The Crooked Man will be provided PT services.
Jack B. Nimble will stop jumping over the candlestick, endangering himself and others.
Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater’s wife will no longer be put in a pumpkin shell for time-outs.
Baker’s man will pat it and roll it and put it in the oven for baby and me using two hands with proper wrist extension.
Goldilocks will learn to respect other people’s property.
Rock-a-bye Baby will be put in a therapy swing for vestibular input instead of an unsafe cradle.
This Little Piggy will go to market and use money to buy things as part of a transition plan.
Little Boy Blue will be brushed and given joint compression at 45-minute intervals to arouse his system so he won’t fall asleep under the haystack at school.
The Tortoise will be given extra time accomodations when competing with the Hare in PE.
Given Humpty Dumpty’s medical fragility, an emergency medical plan will be created.
Little Red Riding Hood will develop community safety skills to avoid unsafe people and forest animals.
The Princess and the Pea will receive occupational therapy for tactile hypersensitivity.
The Big Bad Wolf will be given 30 minutes of speech therapy each week to achieve better respiration so he can successfully huff and puff and blow a house down.
This is too funny! Thanks so much for the chuckles - as they say, laughter is the best medicine!
Posted by: Sandy Alperstein | January 11, 2006 at 10:14 AM
Thanks for another treat, Lori. You are more clever than Foxy Loxy!
Posted by: Daunna Minnich | January 12, 2006 at 03:50 PM
Once again your humor lights my day. You are so great.
Posted by: Peggy Lou Morgan | January 13, 2006 at 02:22 PM