Should Auld Afflictions Be Forgot… -- by Lori Miller Fox

Every year at about this time, I think about how my life appears to be different from the lives of most people.   For the first time in a long time, I’d like to focus on the similarities rather than the differences.  So I’ve come up with a list of New Year’s resolutions just like everybody else’s.  However, how I plan on achieving them may set me and Moms like me a bit apart.  Please glean from them what you will, and together we can change the world.

I will eat right - and left and in the middle.

I will exercise more - by increasing my workout from lifting my 13-year-old son in and out of his wheelchair 46 times a day, to knocking on my neighbors’ doors, lifting their grown children, plus a very large cat.

I will be on time for all my appointments - by changing the time of all my appointments.

I will make more time for myself - by still being late to the above appointments.

I will drink less -  by limiting my coffee intake to only six cups a day, relying only on screaming children and sensory music to keep me awake.

I will find happiness within myself - instead of on eBay.

I will lose weight - by eating chocolate only when there is a medical or school crisis, or family emergency--never mind - goal unattainable at this time.

I will volunteer more - for help lines...for blood drives...for homeless shelters... for jury duty...for clinical trials of a new mood altering drug... anything to get away from my own life’s troubles and personal stress.

I will be kinder to people - except for certain school people and those people who “just don’t get it” with whom I am struggling merely to remain civil.

I will save money and get out of debt - by canceling my health insurance, which is giving me insufficient coverage and slowly eating up every penny I have ever earned.

I will hug my children more - and at the same time provide them with the necessary sensory input needed for them to regulate themselves, thus killing two birds with one squeeze.

I will live in the moment - because the hours and days are too overwhelming.

I will read more - even though I comprehend less.

I will clean out my closet - by increasing my pant size.

I will be more decisive - maybe not.

I will enjoy life more - how? I will use magic thinking.

I will be more assertive...

I will be more organized...

I will be a role model in the community...

I will create and inspire...

I will floss...

I will stop believing this baloney and just focus on surviving and doing what’s best for my family.

I will take each day as it comes - because no matter what I do, they just keep coming anyway...

Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy New Year.

Comments

[Daunna Minnich]

Thank you, Lori, for the many chuckles you've brought us in 2005. Here's another resolution I hope you'll add to your list:

"I will save oodles of money and time - by replacing my psychologist with do-it-yourself therapy in the form of blog humor."

Happy New Year!

[Peggy Lou Morgan]

Lori:

You seem to have found the answer - to laugh instead of cry about the difference in our life. We have to adapt to what works for our family including, but not limited to our special needs child.

I enjoy your humor so much though I haven't always commented on your posts.